Wednesday, February 3, 2010


The place: Subway, Juhu
The time: Multiple visits (regrettably!)
The mission: A healthy, economical and tasty snack

If you have ever walked into a Subway restaurant and instantly seen more than one thing that repulses you, chances are you will say to yourself, "There is no chance in hell I'm coming back here again!". And you won't. My parents have always been right - I love to learn things the hard way.

When I moved to Mumbai, I was elated to see a Subway walking distance from home. The joy turned to an almost bitter disappointment on the first visit and has now just turned to loathing.

In case one thinks I am a total looney, here's a brief description of how an average trip to this very average Subway pans out on an average day:

1. Enter, momentarily happy that you're off that noisy and polluted road.
2. Stop and take in the sights and smells around you - freshly (presumably, at this point) baked bread, and a choice of meats, vegetables and sauces.
3. Walk up to the counter and decide what to eat
4. Wait an eternity to get the attention of someone behind the counter. When you do, wait for them to nod and acknowledge your presence before they get back to discussing whatever it is they are discussing like a giggly gaggle of schoolgirls.
5. Lose your patience and half-yell a stern "EXCUSE ME!" before someone grudgingly lolls over to see what it so important that he had to be torn away from an oh-so-interesting conversation.
6. Place your order, having to repeat only four times, the vegetables you do NOT want. (Four times is the average. Seven is the record, I think)
7. Watch the "Sandwich Artist" (yes, that's what they're called. Sandwich Artists.) throw together your sandwich, slop your choice of sauces and wrestle it shut before hastily wrapping it in paper to prevent the darn thing from springing open. Personally, I think a trained chimpanzee could do a better job.
8. Finally, 20 minutes after initially walking in, seat yourself a sticky table, hoping to enjoy your sub. Unwrap it, and watch it all fall apart. Vegetables tumbling and sauces dripping out of the sandwich makes for a glorious mess. Not to mention that it pretty much defeats the purpose of a sandwich.
9. Struggle through the sandwich, lovingly crafted with crusty bread (so much for point 2 above!), half-thawed meat with little ice crystals on them, and stale vegetables. 
10. Leave, shaking your head and wondering how a trip to Subway could go so wrong.

I'm not sure how many people have similar tales of woe to share, but the Juhu outlet of Subway gives the entire brand a bad name.

And I know I'm a glutton for punishment, but to cut a long story short - don't eat here.

Subway, Juhu at a glance:

Address: Juhu Tara Road, Next to Tulip Star Hotel, Juhu, Mumbai 

Phone: +91 22 67305471

Our rating: 2/10

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